well fuck.

I posted an entry in here earlier (that i’ve now deleted) about how I have gotten on top of things lately and how I’ve gotten my home mortgage all straightened out after unloading nearly close to $8,000 to keep my home in just a year. I’ve dealt with a lot of shit this past year, debt collectors and attorneys right after another, always on my ass. This evening I am reminded of a girl recently crying about her debt problems when she’s never lived a life to know what really being in debt is like. And well just when I am about to wish for her to be in my position, a County Sheriff knocks on my front door and serves me court papers for the one last remaining credit card that I ever had from nearly 5 years ago. It amazes me. Just when I get a couple of months to breathe again, someone comes knocking for more. I am almost tempted to use the remaining money that I have to buy a gun, but that of course was just a joke and I don’t have time for such I suppose. But I’ve never been one to take things seriously even when I am on the verge of losing my home or anything else for that matter. I’ve held onto that “I don’t give a fuck” attitude for a long time now but it all catches up in due time. It’s only a matter of time before your weekly paychecks become no paychecks and you’re down to one testicle. I no longer have a 401k account, well the money I had invested is still there, but since I took out a Safe Harbor Hardship withdrawl, my account is inactive until I can enroll again which wont be until next year sometime. In a way I am in a much tighter spot than I’ve been all year long and now there is no where left to run and nowhere left to go but down. I have done just about all I can do to make up for my past mistakes and the only thing left for me to do is to toss in the towel. I am currently living the worst year of my life and nobody has really given me a chance and that is the toughest thing to swallow. I have 20 days as of right now to come up with the money that I owe or else I will be spending the rest of my life getting my wages garnished as the other only option. Nice.

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