I hate living my life week to week and paycheck to paycheck barely getting by or not getting by at all. I am always struggling and why I keep doing it is beyond me. I used to let shit like this stress me out to no end, but now I’ve gotten used to it because it happens all the fucking time. I get home from work and my feet hurt so damn bad that I once I pull my shoes off it feels like I cant hardly walk. Is this the beginning of the whole…“ya you’re getting old” routine? Well, if so then I noticed. This week I made my citi-financial loan payment and left myself with little cash until Thursday morning when I get paid again. On top of that I was supposed to go into the city office and sign an extension for my utility bill for Thursday and well, I forgot because I had to do 12 hours at work today, fuck…so now I have to pay a $40 posting fee on top of what I owe now and nothing sucks more than some city cock-sucker leaving a huge pink paper taped to your fucking door for the entire town to see. -That was a long ass sentence. My daughter asks me every time I pick her for the weekend if I have a girlfriend yet lol. She has never seen me with a girlfriend before and I never introduced her to any over the years because I knew that over time I would probably be getting rid of them and didn’t care for the thought of my daughter getting attached. Thing is, I always go for the wrong ones and always let the good ones slip away. I just want to get my life straightened out first and then figure all that stuff out, but as time goes by it seems like my whole life is going to be a struggle and I am going to be alone for the rest of my life.
Sucks. I suck.