crossroads

I really need to sit down and figure my life out because currently I am not getting anywhere with what I am doing. As of today I have been working at my job officially 9 years and I thought about it today while sitting on my break. I’ve been in that shit hole for 9 years and that is 9 fucking years of my life that I can never get back….although 9 does happen to be my favorite number, maybe its a good year to leave and get on with my life? But where am I to go and what am I to do? I’ve also spent the last several evenings thinking about a girl that I cannot be with and it feels so damn crazy because I have had this overwhelming feeling that this was the girl I was supposed to be with if certain events didn’t happen early in my life that have derailed me to this exact place I am now. Sure it might sound a little strange jumping to a wild conclusion like that, but something is different about all this and I can really feel it. There is a part of me that thinks that maybe if I went back to where I started out in life that I could get a chance to do it all again or to begin all over again but there is also a part of me that doesn’t want to let this place go but I don’t know why. I don’t know what keeps me here or what I am still doing here, but all I do know is that it feels like I wake up to the same exact day as the day before and it’s the same fucking shit on repeat every single day. I am so tired of struggling all of the time, yet I don’t know anything else other than struggling. I know that things should be different, but I feel like there is something in my way that is keeping me from doing something about it. One day, I am going to figure this all out and I just hope that when that day comes that it wont be too late.

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One Response to crossroads

  1. dawn kirby says:

    well i think rite now your mind is in a tornado because you want answers here is you answer everything thats happened in your life and everyone thats been in your life even the shitty parts all make you who you are and maybe now its time for you to be yourself and live your life! you are a strong person you’ve been through alot and i think everythings going to work out just fine! oh yea you mite feel a little better if you got more sleep

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