senior portrait ad

I took some stuff out of my post below for a work in progress photography ad for Senior Portraits. I think I made this pretty damn good…that and pretty fucking clear lol.

From the horse shit that I have seen, I am pretty god damn sure that I can compete with local professional photographers when it comes to Senior Portraits. My ideas are endless and very spontaneous. Needless to say, I am a versatile mother fucker and a confident one too. I will not go the lazy route by batch processing or by speed editing through your photos using Adobe Lightroom so I can get on to the next task. Each photograph I compose means a great deal to me and the creative process of the original idea does not stop until I am finished with each picture one at a time in post processing. During post, I will not smooth out your skin into creamy barbie doll plastic nor will I make your eyeballs look like sparkling marbles because this is Senior Portraiture not fucking taxidermy. No, I absolutely will not make a black and white photo with one certain or particular thing in color, if you want that…go to Walmart, buy a cheap digital camera and go do that shit yourself. If you want a bunch of Live, Laugh, Love text all over your photos then go wipe your ass with your hand because I am not in this business for unicorns, glitter, rainbows and fairies. I will make your photos stand out and look absolutely stunning and they will stay that way for a lifetime. Do I sound like an over confident asshole? Yes probably, but you get what you pay for…

…the fucking best.

I know, you’re thinking that this does not sound very professional. Well, that is because I am not a professional so if you want one of those then you best start looking for one but you might want to just go ahead and hand them your wallet, checkbook and maybe think about closing what bank accounts you might have, just saying. I do however like to keep things pretty real and honest. I am very flexible with my prices and will sit down and work something out that can be best for you. If you are in a pinch or feeling like a tight ass I will gladly work out some type of payment plan as well.

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