the verge of disaster

My fucking job is really starting to get to me something bad. I have been working there now going on 10 years but this years stress is really doing a number to me. Too many things are going wrong in my personal life that I have to come into a job every day that requires me to break my ass to the point where I can barely pull my shoes off and walk when I get home. Getting around in the mornings has become more of a god damn obstacle than I can ever remember. On top of all the shit my wages are being garnished and because of which my house payment is so far behind that I am in the same exact situation I was in last year where I will be paying several hundred extra in attorney fees on top of the thousand that I already owe to keep my house from foreclosure. It feels like my daughter is growing up without me getting a chance to even see her growing up. It seems like every time I have her is another time I lose a part of knowing her and it hurts. She is also too young to understand the things that are going on.

I was supposed to go in this morning to my piece of shit job at 2:30 am this morning and work a 12 hour day. I said piss on them and called out for the four extra hours and will be coming in at my regular shift time. I am tired of busting my ass every single fucking day, no need to bust my ass an extra four. I am so fucking wiped out that I cannot get a fucking thing done the hours I am home because I am too fucking tired and sore to do jack shit. There used to be a time when I would feel guilty about not coming in for my over time, those days were over a long time ago. I have reached a breaking point now that some little thing is going to set me off one day and I will fucking be gone just like that and I will let everything come crashing down with me.

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